February 2012
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The beginnings of the American Revolution,...
BRITISH EMPIRE: All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-
AMERICAN COLONIES: Huzzah! Time to get drunk!
BRITISH EMPIRE: Except on tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: What?
BRITISH EMPIRE: Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.
AMERICAN COLONIES: We’re not buying your stupid tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?
AMERICAN COLONIES: Yes. We’ll drink coffee.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do you even know what that is?
AMERICAN COLONIES: No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.
BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Oh, for—just drink the tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: No.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: NO.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: Fuck you.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.
AMERICAN COLONIES: *Boston Tea Party*
BRITISH EMPIRE: What the hell?
AMERICAN COLONIES: We heard it was Indians.
BRITISH EMPIRE: That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.
AMERICAN COLONIES: You get all types in Boston.
BRITISH EMPIRE: …*Coercive Acts*
AMERICAN COLONIES: Oh, it is ON.
Detroit newspaper calls for birth control... →
thecoolmoniker:
stfuconservatives:
“Why would you forcibly medicate the population with fluoride chemicals via the water supply when you could instead forcibly medicate them with birth control drugs? That seems to be the opinion of Nolan Finley, the editorial page editor at The Detroit News, who says that too many people on welfare are having babies in Detroit, Mich., and that adding birth...
Santorum: Being Female is a Mental Disorder →
sleazeandhustle:
mrsjojharrison:
It has been my experience that when dealing with females, you need to treat them as though they have a mental disorder… especially those that are constantly seeking equality in the workplace, the military, and in the home. Women need to know their place and need to know when it is okay for them to speak. They were put on this earth for two reasons, and two...
A cat with no legs
aprilfoolromance:
bunnyfood:
Come to me you fuzzy little caterpillar ; _____; <3
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“On a somewhat serious note today because of a conversation the other day:
I...”
– You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face « Views from the Couch (via how-to-kiss-distinctly-american)
Damn this is so right on. I have been talking to my niece a bit lately, which makes me want to smack all grownups at her school.
(via believeinthefight)
Damn I never even thought...
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“He ended his performance by back-flipping off the stage, though sadly not off...”
– Sasha Frere Jones recap gets in the best dig yet at Chris Brown’s 81 performances at the Grammys. I was hoping that at the end of that performance he was going to jump from the top of the set, Black Swan style, but no luck. (via rookiemag)
Ailatan: Downton Abbey Name Generator →
maritsa-met:
alexandrahamilton:
littlehonda:
nanner:
ornamentedembellished:
whatwasleftafter:
daily-downton:
tombransonsupportgroup:
Your (me, Jo, that is) Downton Abbey Name Is: Lady Eugenie, Baroness Weston-under-Lizard
Lady…
Lady Hermione, Countess of Bog Head
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Awake & unafraid.: ghost-plot: woodyallenofmusic:... →
ghost-plot:
woodyallenofmusic:
janet jackson was banned from the grammys for her “nipslip” during the superbowl halftime show
chris brown was not banned from the grammys for beating his girlfriend so badly she went to the hospital
let’s sit and think about these two facts, and…
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some-disgraced-cosmonaut:
Things that do not make you a bad person:
Struggling with a substance abuse problem
Falling for an abusive partner
Dying “before your time”
Things that do make you a bad person:
Claiming a substance abuser is sub-human
Blaming the victim in an abusive relationship
Mocking an untimely death
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Rookie: LOST: SELF-RESPECT →
ihavenipplesgregcanyoumilkme:
I don’t know, you guys. I’m really at a loss here. I can’t find my self-respect. It seems I have misplaced it. Here’s a photo of me with my self-respect fully intact:
See? Look at how happy I look? I’m fully clothed and you can just see the self-respect…
Untitled: themightynarwhal: murrayida: euclase:... →
oursillywords:
cael-lilikoi:
themightynarwhal:
murrayida:
euclase:
What the hell, people? Are we a bunch of 19-year-olds taking college Sexuality 101?
Your sexual orientation is something you’re born with.
The end.
God damnit don’t talk about something you’re not educated on.
For some people, you’re…
WHAT THE HELL
Oh my god, NONE of you are right. Holy hells what is going on.
...
My Brain Is Trying To Kill Me.: awesome-everyday:... →
awesome-everyday:
katelinbrooke:
White people will practically burst through the walls of your house like the Kool Aid man in order to give you their opinion on stuff.
Oh shit, 100% on-board. Also, in the bedroom.
Pending a full-length, hand-drawn gif (forthcoming),…
“When prompted by a question from Chris Rock who was seated in the audience, he...”
– James McBride Dropping knowledge (via howtobeterrell)
ipomoeaandthestarstealers:
Is it terrible that I sort of want to see Rachel “I AM A STAR” Berry end up doing regional dinner theater and working part-time as a realtor for the rest of her life?
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Bedbugs Biting: Condescending, Judgmental Bitch:... →
abbyjean:
Five Things You Probably Don’t Know About Food Stamps
A large and growing share of SNAP households are working households(see chart). In 2010, more than three times as many SNAP households worked as relied solely on welfare benefits for their income.
SNAP responded …
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